EMUSIC

Taking the term “failure” to new extremes since 1999 - Jessica Simpson.

Her music career was mild at best with highlights being the watered down version of John Cougar’s “Jack & Diane” otherwise known as “I Think I’m in Love with You,” career savior “With You,” a tribute to her ex-husband Nick Leachy Lachey, and her biggest accidental hit, “These Boots Are Made for Walkin,” a Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis production that gave country a backbeat and a video that voided Simpson of any capability of thought with its sexual overtones.

Her acting career hit its not-so-high peak with reality show “Newlyweds,” which didn’t require any acting - just Simpson being as retarded as normal.  Besides her “Dukes of Hazzard” remake, “Blonde Ambition” summarized her worth, as an average of 48 people (as told by PerezHilton.com) saw its release.

Her “eatables” product line made her vomit after 3 uses live on TV.

With nothing left (and almost nothing to begin with), Simpson decided to return to her country roots, and with that abbreviated laundry list of aforementioned failures, you would think she could write some serious hits.  Yet, what we get is “Come On Over,” a standard love song as empty as Simpson’s daily thought procesis.

Nonetheless, country music may be the best route for Simpson, considering she doesn’t need to spend a fortune on producers (which she clearly doesn’t have) and the music is so formulated that even she can’t fail at that.  That doesn’t mean she’ll succeed either.

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