EMUSIC

There really is something wrong with UK Pop nowadays.

Have you seen Amy Winehouse lately? Voice like a jazz legend and lyrics as moving as the movie Selena, yet she really is one screwed up mofo as of late. And after the passing of a relative, a miscarriage and being dumped, Lily Allen seemed to follow in her inebriated footsteps, flashing tits and cooch and, basically, making the Paparazzi happy when Winehouse couldn’t (which, lucky for her, was a rarity).

Guess who, Batman? It’s Lily Allen, known best for ridding Gotham and every other city of social incompetence with her sweet angelic voice singing lyrics like “how would it make you feel if I said you never made me come” or “I been lying next to you and you next to me; all the while, I was high as a kite,” has leaked a new song which may be the single off of her new album, tentatively titled Stuck on the Naughty Step.

GWB (Fuck You Very Much) puts her EMI/Capitol Records doppleganger/replacement Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” to shame, starting on a tone that will tell you how to get, how to get to Sesame Street. Yes, it is a sunny day, but that’s because, once you hear her lyrics, you realize that by the end of this song, Allen has erased crime with 4 simple words as the KO - “Fuck You Very Much.”

After several years of haitus/drug overdoses/babydaddies/anorexia, both Brandy and Monica have dropped supposed new singles at the same time. However, after listening to these tracks, it appears that both of their budgets (or minds) have ceased to exist.

Since her first album, Monica clearly exasperated her funds and from the sounds of it could only afford to pay for good production for her lead singles, leaving the rest of any given album with her name on it sounding as dull and uninterested as Britney Spears reading her estranged children bedtime stories.

Even with a cameo from Ludacris, “Still Standing” is an overdramatic “I Believe I Can Fly” wannabe with a backbeat that is as overly dramatic and uninspirational as its attempted uplifting lyrics (and whoever gave Luda the permission to attempt to make a spiritual rap is a failure as a person).

Brandy, at the very least, left off on a great note with her last album Afrodisiac with innovative production from both Kanye and Timbaland. Then there was Brandy’s “Right Here.”

Darkchild did so well reinventing his production with the Pussycat Dolls’ “When I Grow Up,” but I don’t know what happened with Brandy.

Honestly, when you hear a song start with “When you feel your heart is guarded,” there isn’t much to look forward to. Like a Disney track gone wrong, Brandy does everything from singing with emotion as fake as Angelina Jolie’s lips to using lyrics as simple as Easy Mac.

“I ask God why is this happening to me,” states Monica in her single. Well, I ask God why these two singers are empty-headed enough to believe that these songs could ever make an impact on anyone besides themselves.